Spring Break: Days 1 to 3ish

Last week was Adam's Spring Break! Woot! Woot! And, while we didn't go to Hawaii like some of Adam's family, we got in some nice warm weather and some fun. The goal of this Spring Break was to visit Savanna, Joe, and Nora in Silver City, New Mexico and we drug my mom and dad and Abby and Locklynn along with us. Locklynn did surprising well, even though Silver City is an 18 hour drive away.

Friday March 21, 2014- We I got off work for the day, we all packed into a rented mini van and hit the road. We stopped in Spanish Fork, Utah for a potty break and Abby got hit on in the gas station! We stopped for the night in little Wellington, Utah and poor little Lockie had a rough time. He cried and kept pointing to the door saying, "Daddy!"

Saturday March 22, 2014- We toured Arches National Park. It was amazing! Locklynn loved the big rocks and red dirt, but it was a little chilly and windy there. Afterwards, we took a pit stop to see the Monticello temple on our way to Cortez, Colorado.

Once in Cortez, we spent a little bit of time at Mesa Verde. It is this really cool place where you can see ancient cliff dwellings and other primitive habitats. It made me think of places that the Nephites and Lamanites from the Book of Mormon may have lived.

Finally, we crashed for the night in Cortez. Abby was pretty creaped out because the ceiling in our hotel was sparkly!

Sunday March 23, 2014- After attending a really good sacrament meeting (all of the little children were super quiet and reverent), we began our long journey to Silver City, but stopped at Four Corners. There isn't too much to see, but you seriously have to be at 4 places at once at least once in your life!

Please forgive my double chin!!!

Back on the road... Locklynn got a little bored...

Who can blame him?

More to come on Day 3 later... Savanna accidentally stole some of the pictures off of my camera.

The Motherhood Project: Part II

Through my struggle with infertility and miscarriage, motherhood and my dreams of becoming such have remained just outside of my grasp. The Family Proclamation to the Family states, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”¹ Well, try as we might, the replenishing is just not happening successfully. 

I am the mother of 2 babies who only got to experience life in my belly for several short weeks. I believe that I will be able to raise them and be their mother in eternity, but I am always concerned over being a mother NOW. I have no living children and may never be able to bare them, so how can I fill the measure of my creation?

Sister Barbara Thompson, a single sister in the church and former member of the Relief Society General Presidency, said, “ I was in the Tabernacle when President Gordon B. Hinckley first delivered the proclamation on the family at the general Relief Society meeting in September of 1995. That was a great occasion. I felt the significance of the message. I also found myself thinking, ‘This is a great guide for parents. It is also a big responsibility for parents.’ I thought for a moment that it really didn’t pertain too much to me since I wasn’t married and didn’t have any children. But almost as quickly I thought, ‘But it does pertain to me. I am a member of a family. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a niece, and a granddaughter. I do have responsibilities—and blessings—because I am a member of a family. Even if I were the only living member of my family, I am still a member of God’s family, and I have a responsibility to help strengthen other families.’”²

I have been guilty of sitting in church and turning off my attention because a lesson is about motherhood or family and it hurts sometimes. But, I can follow Sister Thompson’s example and help to strengthen families because I am a member of a family and a member of God’s family. 

Sister Thompson continued to say, “Elder Robert D. Hales said, ‘Strengthening families is our sacred duty as parents, children, extended family members, leaders, teachers, and individual members of the Church.’”²

“…We are given opportunities to serve in many capacities. We constantly come in contact with children and youth who may need just what we can offer. You older sisters have much good advice and experience to share with younger mothers. Sometimes a Young Women leader or a Primary teacher says or does just the thing that is needed to reinforce what a parent is trying to teach. And obviously we don’t need any particular calling to reach out to a friend or neighbor.”²

“The greatest help we will have in strengthening families is to know and follow the doctrines of Christ and rely on Him to help us. So often as I have worked with families with problems, I have found myself wishing that these families knew of the Savior and were teaching their children the doctrines of Jesus Christ.”²

References:

1. Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102
2. Sister Barbara Thompson “I Will Strengthen Thee; I Will Help Thee,” Ensign, October 2007.

The Motherhood Project: Part I

I've been working on a project of sorts lately, trying to gain a greater understanding of motherhood and my purpose. Here is the first installment of what I call, The Motherhood Project.

“One Sunday, in the process of preparing the sacrament, I noticed that some of the sacrament cups had tiny holes in the bottom corner where the machine that had produced them cut a little too deeply, leaving the cup unable to hold water for a long period of time. In some of the cups, the hole was so miniscule that it took 30 minutes or more for the water to drain. In others where the hole was much larger, the water drained immediately. Because of this defect, I knew I couldn’t use them. I thought to myself, “What good is a cup that won’t hold water?” Had the cups been the wrong color, size, or shape, it might not have been a problem, but the one thing the manufacturer needed to get right was each cup’s ability to hold water. After all, that is the purpose of a cup.”¹

“As a single male in my mid-30s, I sometimes feel that, like those sacrament cups, I am not fulfilling my purpose. Marriage continues to be a much-desired goal, but my efforts have not yet borne fruit, leaving me to wonder if I am filling the measure of my creation.”¹ 

Obviously, I am not a single young man, but I have experienced similar feelings of inadequacy and defectiveness as I have struggled through infertility, miscarriages, and my own perceived or real shortfalls. Perhaps you have experienced these feelings through your own situations as well. Maybe you are single, divorced, infertile, have made mistakes, are experiencing feelings of inadequacy, or just don’t feel like you fit the “mold” for some other reason. 

Joshua Larson, the young man who shared his feelings of inadequacy, continued to say, “Many times we lose sight of our divine purpose and the Lord’s promises, and the world’s measuring stick can cause us to think we are less than adequate… However, the measure of our creation is to reach the exaltation and eternal life promised to those who remain faithful and obedient. If we are continually progressing with faith in God’s promises, we are in a very real sense filling the measure of our creation. If we purge ourselves of unrighteousness so that we are moving along the strait and narrow way of sanctification, we are filling the measure of our creation. If we go forth doing good works, being an instrument in the Master’s hands, we are filling the measure of our creation… By focusing on my eternal progression, seeking to be a vessel for the Holy Ghost, engaging in good works, and letting many of the other worries of life fade away, I feel that I am ever closer to filling the measure of my creation.”¹

References:
1. Joshua Larson “The Measure of Our Creation,” Ensign, Jan. 2014.

PS. One of my favorite blogs, The R House, has a series titled "What is Motherhood?" Click here to find what she has discovered about motherhood. Stay tuned for more to come in the Motherhood Project. 

The Life of Pie

Today we celebrated our first Pi day with Butterburr's oatmeal pie, my favorite! Yum! I think we will make this an annual tradition. 

 

                                                                      HAPPY PI DAY!

Valentine's Day 2014

This year, the week of Valentine's day was super busy! Besides work for me and school for Adam, our dishwasher broke on the 12th, we had a ward progressive dinner on the 13th and we made a dessert for it on the 12th, Adam had a huge paper due at midnight on the 14th, I had a friend's wedding to attend to and help out at on the 14th, and Adam volunteered to show perspective Physical Therapy students around campus on the morning of the 15th. I, for one, have been super tuckered out!

Although Adam was trying to work like a madman on his paper, he took a break to help make the cake for the progressive dinner.

We made two Chocolate Oreo Cookie Cakes. They were delish and were a big hit!

Since this week held so much chaos for both of us, we held our Valentine's Day celebrations yesterday. It was kind of neat because we realized it had been 5 years since Adam had proposed! I was in charge of planning this year and while it was no where near what Adam has planned for us in the past, it was still fun and we improvised a lot. We started out by grabbing a quick lunch from the value menu at the Wendy's drive thru and a smoothie from Jamba. Then we perused the clearance Valentine's items at a few stores. Next, we played 2 rounds of bowling at ISU. We each won a game. Then, we went and played a round of miniature black light golf... which Adam won. We spent a little time wandering through furniture stores looking at couches, dining tables, and beds. We were just dreaming. Then we ate a delightful dinner at the new Mackenzie River Pizza. Finally, we came home and watched the US hockey team beat the Russian hockey team by a hair in the winter Olympics and we also watched Ender's Game from Redbox.

5 YEARS LATER AND WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER!!!

Happy Valentine's Day

Ok, this is totally unrelated to Valentine's day, but important enough to me that I thought I would share. Consider it my Valentine gift to you- an infertility awareness of sorts.

Shortly after our last miscarriage, I was looking at puppies for sale on KSL E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. I was desperately hoping that our landlord would let us get a puppy and was convinced that was the only way that I was going to heal and move forward. Now, I only occasionally look at KSL and it is mostly for the area news. I am glad that I looked today because there was this great article:

Infertility requires a changing dynamic in friendships
February 13, 2014

SALT LAKE CITY — One of the best parts of life is traveling through it with friends. You may attend school together, start your first jobs at the same time, then transition into adulthood, which may mean marriage and children. Infertility is often a divergent path for some friendships, but it doesn't have to be.
Many women who are experiencing infertility watch as their friends become pregnant and experience childbirth. An event that is life-changing is now a topic of conversation that may become “sticky” among friendships.
Just like most personal events, it’s difficult to understand infertility if you haven’t lived it. People understand things like cancer better. Interestingly, studies completed by Dr. Alice Domar suggest those experiencing infertility have the same levels of stress as those recently diagnosed with cancer. Regardless, the pain of infertility is largely misunderstood and at times not taken seriously.
Those experiencing infertility often hear “don’t worry it will happen, maybe if you just relax.” Being relaxed has no correlation with conception.
Here are a few things to think about if someone you care about is experiencing infertility.

• Don't minimize. Infertility is the death of a dream. Many couples imagine and plan for their family well in advance. When it starts to become clear that this may not be a reality, they feel a loss of control, disappointment in one's body, and anger. Reproduction is often viewed as a basic human task, not being able to do what, on a most basic level, our bodies are “meant” to do, can be quite devastating. Many of us ascribe to the idea that if we work hard for something we will achieve it; infertility flies in the face of this concept. In particular, during "child-bearing years," couples may feel they have jumped through the hoops of education, employment and financial stability only to find that a family (created in the traditional way) isn't easily attainable.
  Your friends are facing a loss of something they always thought would be there. It can't be underestimated.
• Rely on other friends or family to discuss your pregnancy. If you are expecting and an infertile friend is not, share your joys and complaints with other friends or family. Although it is sad you aren't able to share such a rite of passage with a friend, you'll save your friendship if you rely on other parts of your support network during this time. For someone trying to conceive, the birth of a child may too much to talk about and be reminded of. They won't feel this way forever, just honor the time that they do.
• Show them you care. Do what you would do if someone had a newly diagnosed condition, which could mean casseroles, cards, flowers, long lunches with a listening ear. This isn't anything different. Let them know that you want to be supportive. Ask them, “Do you want me to ask about how things are going, or wait until you share it?” Some feel that infertility is a private matter, others seek support.

Lastly, if you or a loved one is experiencing infertility, Resolve, a national infertility association, can be an excellent resource. Find information about family-building, the emotions of infertility and information on peer-lead support groups. Go to resolve.org, and hang in there.

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Whitney Barrell, LCSW, has a master's of social work from the University of Utah. In her private practice she enjoys working with children and families on myriad mental health issues. She can be reached at www.whitneybarrellcounseling.com

Resolution Should Haves

Apparently one of my New Years resolutions should have been blogging. I sure have been slacking. Here's what's been up with us:

At the end of January, Adam's Grandpa J turned 94. We were able to visit with him earlier in the month and listen to his classic Grandpa J stories while pop music played in the background. Haha! We learned that he taught soldiers how to operator turrets during WWII. Happy Birthday Grandpa J! Here's to many more!

In January I also finished 2 sewing projects- a little girl petal dress and tying a twin sized boy quilt called Popsicle Sticks. My mom and Adam helped tie the quilt and my mom did the binding. Some of the strips in the quilt are from Adam's old ties.

While I played with Locklynn and Abby, Adam helped my dad work on building a wall of book shelves. I helped Abby give Locklynn his very first bubble bath and she did a gel manicure on me.

I so love my family!