The end of October brings scary things like Halloween... and my birthday. This year I turned 28. Mostly people look at birthdays as a happy time of celebration. Lately, for a long time really, I've been making the mistake of using birthdays, holidays, and milestones to look at the past and future and dwell on what I don't have. For example I will think to myself:
" OMG, we've been married over 5 1/2 years and we still don't have any kids."
" We've been graduated from high school for over 9 years and we still don't have kids."
" So and so is pregnant again. Why can't that be us?"
" We've been trying to adopt for 3 years and still don't have kids."
" I'm 28 and I still don't have kids."
I think that this year has been especially hard with our recent failed adoption and our miscarriage that was almost 1 year ago. This year was almost the year that I had exactly what I wanted for my birthday! It becomes almost consuming at times. So, maybe you will understand why I was dreading my birthday as usual.
But you know what? It wasn't so bad. It was actually good. I felt the love of so many people. And thanks in part to "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" movie that Adam took me to see today (He came and got me off work early), I am trying to set a goal to become a better person by enjoying my life in the here and now and enjoying holidays and milestones for what they are. You guys gotta help hold me to it!
IN OTHER NEWS:
This week was Spirit Week at work. Monday was PJ/ Crazy Hair day. Tuesday was Zoo Animal Day. Wednesday was Decade Day. Thursday was Nerd Day. Friday was Halloween costume of choice.
Check me out on Zoo Animal Day:
I was supposed to be a leopard, but I think it had a little more of a mouse vibe going on!
And check out this:
I came in to work for Nerd Day/ my birthday later than usual because Adam and I had our home study update this morning. My awesome co-workers had this great surprise waiting for me along with a special home-made card and delicious cake. Stacey was so thoughtful to make me an oatmeal cake because she knows that I like oatmeal pie! The people in my life sure know how to make me feel special.