Sunday, December 15, 2013

2013 In Review

This is the time of year that mailboxes fill up with Christmas cards and newsletters. Unfortunately for you, we have yet to start that annual tradition. However, you luck out because you have a whole year’s worth of blog posts to review, and to make things easier this post will be a review of our year! It has been a year of ups and downs to say the least. 

Adam has completed 1 ½ years of graduate school. This means that he is officially half way through his Physical Therapy program and ½ of a Physical Therapist. This year he did an internship in Soda Springs, ID and West Valley, UT. Both clinics offered him a job at the completion of his schooling. I am super proud of him! Of course you all know Adam… all work and no play make Adam a dull boy. So, he plays all of the time. He went hunting a bunch this year and even harvested 2 Forest Grouse (or gross! JK)

I, Katie, have been keeping busy with bringing home the bacon as Adam’s sugar momma. I can also always be found with a book in hand or working on a sewing project. This year I also decided to enroll in an online photography class and a photo editing class. They didn’t work out so much, but I stuck up for myself and got all of our money back, which was a big accomplishment. Another big thing for me this year was going to the General Women’s conference in Utah. 

We didn’t go on any big exciting vacations this year, but we found fun things to do around the area. For Adam’s spring break, we went to Utah and enjoyed the color festival. We also visited the Salt Lake, Brigham City, and Oquirrh Mountain temples this year. We took a trip to Yellowstone with Adam’s parents and siblings. Although it might be surprising, I went camping TWICE this year. On one of our camping trips we got to see hot air balloons in Driggs. 

Here’s something unusual about this year, we didn’t move. That is something we’ve been used to doing during our college career.  I, for one, experienced the “it’s been a year and we haven’t moved” itch. We rearranged our furniture… twice… instead.
As always, we are still trying to adopt. We held another adoption garage sale this year and we continually collect things to recycle to help boost our funds. 

Last, but not least, we bought each other cross country skis for Christmas. We had gone cross country skiing at the beginning of the year and had a lot of fun. We are looking forward to exploring the local back country and mastering our cross country skills.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
The Johnsons

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Our Loss, Heaven's Gain

Spoiler Alert: THIS IS A SAD POST
You may have noticed that our blog recently went through a name change. It seemed to be a fitting change because it seemed like all of our dreams WERE coming true. At the beginning of November (ironically right after our adoption home study renewal) we found out that we were pregnant. We took 3 tests for proof. What an unexpected miracle! At a very unexpected time! Not only had we just renewed our home study, but Adam was going to be living in Utah for an internship for 6 weeks. Really?!

But, the miracle came with unexpected feelings for both of us. I would say that we both were a little traumatized from our experience with Baby J. I wanted to be ecstatic, but I have to be honest in saying that I felt a little numb. Was this real? Would this last? Would this pregnancy be different from last time? What about our adoption dream? 

I had already reconciled with myself that I would NEVER get pregnant again, NEVER give birth, and NEVER breastfeed. We figured there was a different path for us. Plus, I was scared out of my mind. We both were, but Adam put on a brave facade. I was scared to open up my heart. Scared to dream. Scared to have hope. Scared to get attached.

Little by little I was getting excited. I was opening up my heart. I was trying to have faith and hope. We were trying to come up with a name for the baby so that we didn’t just have to call it BABY for months. I had purchased a few maternity clothes. I had pinned bunches of announcement ideas, gender reveal ideas, ect on secret Pinterest boards. We even started telling people. We wanted to be careful, but we wanted to make sure we had support if something happened. At the Thanksgiving get together we asked for a family fast and family prayers. Friends, family, and coworkers were praying for us and our names had been put on the prayer list at multiple temples.
This is the announcement we were going to use to tell our good news. I tried to rotate the picture, but it wouldn't stay that way.
We had every reason to think that this pregnancy would be different, but being me I couldn’t shake the WHAT IFS. I was working closely with my doctor. I had priesthood blessings. I was taking progesterone. I was getting off of my anxiety medicine. I was constantly praying. I was taking things easy. In the end though, we still miscarried. 

This miscarriage seems different than with Baby J though. Maybe this time we were stronger and better prepared for the miscarriage that came just 2 days after Thanksgiving. It is just so crazy. This pregnancy was almost exactly 3 years after we had been pregnant with Baby J. It lasted almost the same amount of time too.

Although we feel like we are handling this miscarriage better than last time and we don’t want to suffer in silence, we aren’t really ready to talk about it either. I didn’t talk to my mom for a full day.

I am trying not to think about things and trying to be positive. I am grateful that I had a chance to be pregnant again. I am grateful for an awesome husband who loves this infertile Myrtle even when he wanted to have a house full of kids. I am grateful for great family, a great ward, and great neighbors. I am grateful for people being understanding and waiting for us to be able to talk about things. I am grateful for our kind doctor. I am grateful for the kind note and gift from my Relief Society president and for the tulips from the girls at work. I am also grateful for our two children in heaven. I guess now Baby J won’t be lonely. We will have a little family waiting for us in Heaven, we just need to keep living our lives with them in mind. UNTIL FOREVER.

2013 Turkey Day

Adam and I alternate which family we spend the majority of a holiday with. This year we were with Adam's family for Thanksgiving and we will be with my family for Christmas. Adam and Darl did a Turkey trot fun run on Thanksgiving morning. It was put on by the PT clinic where Adam is interning. Darl took 1st and Adam took 2nd.
While Adam was running, I was spending time with the nieces and nephews and helping with meal prep. I helped peel potatoes for mashed potatoes, but poor Sam had to pick up all the peels that missed the garbage! I assisted Kayden in making a pistachio salad and cookie salad. Adam had made a delicious Snickerdoodle Cheesecake the night before. It tasted just like my mom's Snickerdoodle cookies! Yum!
Sam wearing his puppets
When we are with Adam's family for Thanksgiving, we usually go to Utah to spent Thanksgiving with the "M" clan, that is Adam's mom, Karen's, side of the family. The family usually reserves the gym in the church next to the Jordan River temple for half a day. In addition to food, this year they also had crafts/ art projects for the kids, a photo booth, and glow in the dark dodge ball. 
Sam and Kayden
Hope y'all had a great time with family, eating turkey, and giving thanks!